2020: 21 new albums/videos.
2021: 24 new albums/videos.
2022: 25 new albums/videos.
2023: 7 new albums/videos.
I think it’s safe to say my creative output this year has been… “lacking”. I used to try an make sure I always had enough material in reserve to consistently publish new stuff every couple of weeks, but that obviously hasn’t been happening for a little while. I just wanted to write down some thoughts that I hope will serve as both an apology and a positive look to the future.
So first things first: no, nothing’s wrong. I haven’t decided to ditch this hobby of mine! Things are going as OK as they can be in the UK in 2023. I haven’t been ill, but I have noticed a distinct lack of energy for most of my creative outlets. I work from home full time and even though I much prefer this to commuting to an office, it can mean that once I’ve finished a full day’s work sitting at my work computer, I then don’t really feel like opening my personal laptop and doing anything more taxing than watching YouTube.
It looks like I might be stuck in a bit of a routine, and I guess I need to try and change things up a little. I do have a plan for this, but it’s gonna be painful. Without going into too much detail, I still have plans to move soon, and although I think it’s gonna sap my energy for the foreseeable, I will come out at the other end in a better place.
So what have I been doing all this time? To be blunt: working on myself. When I first started publishing my photos online, I was still exploring my identity, playing around and figuring out what felt right for me. I think I’m now in a place where I can happily say I’ve worked out most of that, and I’m taking steps towards realising that “ideal me”! Even though I’ve not been sharing much about my “real life”, that’s where I’ve been putting most of my energy this year, so I apologise that I’ve not had much extra resources to work on my fetish side.
I still have plenty of ideas for things I want to do and share with you, but apart from lack of energy, I’ve also had to deal with issues with my home and issues with scheduling. I’m still a little chubbier than I’d like, and that certainly makes me not want to take certain photos. But following the worst parts of the pandemic, I am now going out regularly, trying to exercise more and watch my diet. But because I’m now going outdoors more regularly, that also means I have fewer chances to do big photoshoots at home.
And I’ll be honest here - some of the past photoshoots I did in full latex, where I spent several hours struggling with putting all the gear on, then setting up the camera and lighting, posing, taking shots, checking to see if everything’s ok, remembering to hydrate before fainting from heat exhaustion… doing all that on your own is VERY tiring. And I’m not getting any younger. 😿
Another thing to mention is the “death” of social media. Earlier in the year I deleted my Reddit account, then Twitter, and removed my photos from a couple of the sketchier porn sites too. I’ve replaced those social media accounts with Mastodon and Telegram, where I have a much more modest follower base. Not that I was ever popular on Twitter by any means, but being less visible also means I’m spending less time on social media and therefore also don’t really have the drive to constantly post new work in the vain hope of “going viral”. I miss interacting with a lot of people I left behind on Twitter but on balance it was the right move for my mental health.
Hopefully this is a pretty good recap of what’s been going in my life. Basically - I’ve been concentrating on my personal life, getting myself to a place where I’m happy with my enby self. And that does mean I’ve been neglecting my kinky side. But I really hope you’ll stick with me, and look out for my new photos and videos when I do eventually post them!
So until then - happy new year, and here’s to a great 2024 for everyone! 💖